Marriage found its
origins with the command from God that it was not right that man should be
alone (Gen. 2:18). Despite its holy intent marriage has become a trendy
arrangement. Moreover, the haphazard manner in which marriage vows are
dismissed in present time should cause the student of God to turn and evaluate
the biblical stance on the matter.
Biblical teaching
on marriage centered on the union between one man and one woman (Gen. 2:24).
This bond is best portrayed in the relationship of a covenant. In this way a
marriage is seen as growing, healing and maturing through time, mirroring the
relationship between God and his people. [1]
As the two became one flesh, we should understand this was a godly ideal to
remain intact forever (Gen 2:24). There were however guidelines for a biblical
marriage. After the Levitical laws marriage to family was outlawed (Lev.
20:19), marriage to foreigners was dangerous, with Old and New Testaments
attesting to this (1 Kings 11:1-2-10; 2 Cor. 6:14-15), and both parties were to
be submitted to one another (Eph. 5:22-33).
In the Old
Testament a groom did not posses his wife until the bride price was paid (Gen.
34:12). Prior to this the bride and groom were betrothed, a legally binding
contract, for a year in which they were to remain celibate (Matt. 1:18). There
was an understanding that the marriage was to be consummated on the first
night, in which the stained linen cloth would attest to the bride’s virginity. [2]
Despite Scriptures references to intercourse being intended for the married
couple society has a different view of things. There is a “try it before you
buy it” mentality and promiscuity reigns supreme in the dating scene,
particularly in Hollywood touting the “living together” culture that is a
mainstay of America. Without the long-term commitment of marriage, partners are
free to come and go as they please with no apparent consequences.
Divorce indicates
a severing of what was once a living union. [3]
The Bible allows for divorce yet it was not a God ordained reason but for the
hardness of men’s hearts (Matt. 19:8). In Jesus’ time the reasoning for divorce
had become so rampant that Christ had to take a very strict stance on allowing
for divorce based on adultery only (Matt. 5:32). This was in response to the
Hillelite Pharisees who sought divorce for any reason including a poorly cooked
meal.[4]
Other reasons were certainly permissible such as desertion to which Paul points
to but it should be understood as a last resort.[5]
Though not as dramatic as the Hillelite’s, today’s culture seeks divorce almost
as indiscriminately. Many have been married multiple times and have sought the
arms of another to save them from the bonds of a bad marriage.
Though biblical,
there are many reasons permissible for divorce including abuse,
life-threatening situations and desertion however, there are objections to deal
with. Matthew 5:32 has been used to point out adultery as the sole reason for dissolution.
This misses the mark however. Christ was not stating an absolute regarding
divorce rather he was pointing to the holy standard set forth in creation.[6] Yes a marriage should mirror God’s
covenant with man, however because of man’s fallen nature divorce is
permissible.
A Christian is
permitted to remarry once they have repented for breaking the covenant of
marriage with their partner. Remarriage was presupposed in the Deuteronomy
legislation (Deut. 24:1-4), although it was forbidden for a woman to remarry
and then return to her former spouse. [7] In Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 regarding
remarriage, Jesus did not forbid remarriage considering it was understood in
Jewish society that remarriage almost always followed divorce or death, see
Ruth’s example of Levirate marriage (Ruth 2:20-4:10).
Divorce is
damaging; “two became one flesh” and there is a tearing that takes place. It is
the role of the church to support those affected with divorce. The church
should accept the divorced parties not refuse them membership. [8]
Second the church should support and guide the divorced in their future, which
may mean emotional, spiritual and material care. [9]
The results of single parent homes have been well documented with children of
divorce parents more likely to divorce themselves. Permanence in marriage
should be the goal of any covenant couple to strengthen the nation as in
biblical times.
Though never the
ideal set forth by God divorce is a part of fallen creation. Among the reasons
for divorce adultery is chief, yet it should be recognized that God never
approves of abusive relationships for we should love one another as Christ
loved the church (Eph. 5:25). Certainly remarriage can occur but it must not be
entered into lightly as it carries the sting of the past divorce. The church
should aide in the recovery and healing of divorced persons.
[1] D.J.
Atkinson, “Divorce.” in Evangelical
Dictionary of Theology, ed. Walter A. Elwell, 2nd Ed. (Grand
Rapids: Baker, 2001), 347.
[2] H.W.
Perkin, “Marriage, Marriage Customs in Bible Times.” in Evangelical Dictionary of Theology, ed. Walter A. Elwell, 2nd
Ed. (Grand Rapids: Baker, 2001), 742.
[3] Atkinson,
346.
[4] Ibid,
347.
[5] Ibid,
348.
[6] Ibid,
347.
[7] D.J.
Atkinson, “Remarriage.” in Evangelical
Dictionary of Theology, ed. Walter A. Elwell, 2nd Ed. (Grand Rapids:
Baker, 2001), 1007.
[8] Atkinson,
348.
[9] Ibid,
348.
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